diary

easy productive saturday

<2021-09-04 Sat 18:18> applied my "success by piddling" strategy today. not quite over my strep throat, which was diagnosed last friday (started a z-pack for it same day); still kinda sore, so babying myself a little on this, because it's really hot, and i want to get over this. going back to the clinic in the morning, after sunday school. i do need to get up at 7 to take my wife to work, since we only have one car.

anyway, today, i somehow got a bunch of laundry put up, mostly unpacking my suitcase from the hurricane hideout last weekend; rebalanced my books; did a little python learning (on classes, haven't done that yet); reset my ssh on my digital ocean website server (and added a new server to fiddle with); got some t-shirt pictures up on my website; and a half-dozen other things. the piddling approach works.

diataxis rocks

<2021-08-25 Wed 08:56> diataxis makes it really easy to make my doc better; it really helps you find flaws and figure out how to sort your docs in a logical and usable way; hopefully the users will feel the same way.

tuesday

<2021-08-17 Tue 08:48> my list says journal today; not much to talk about, except just excerpts from my last couple of days.

on saturday evening, i assembled my lego lunar lander and published the picture on facebook. pretty neat, and it wasn't too difficult; i only screwed up one time, putting the front on the lunar lander upside down, meaning that a giant antenna was in front of the ladder; easily fixed, but confused by the way they used a car windshield as the glass for the triangular windows. but upside down.

sunday, i found the problem with my local laptop maas install: updates apparently turn on the firewall, which interferes with the operation of maas. woo-hoo! sunday i also managed to get started with documenting the maas cli on my website; we aren't documenting it at work, for various reasons, so i thought it might be good to document it externally, as a non-work hobby.

monday, i worked out a much simpler procedure for semi-automatically publishing discourse docs, using mostly shell-scripting. i'm kinda going soft on this round, because there is a next big thing looming, and although i think "next big things" aren't next, big, or things, i still don't want to waste a lot of work on fancy tools if they're going to get replaced.

today, i woke up craving hacker music, and it has helped me get going today; i might keep this channel up for a while. it also helps me set aside my anxiety.

so that's the report from crane creek, fwiw.

U-N-I-X

<2021-08-14 Sat 10:11> laying in bed the other morning, trying to procrastinate about getting up. realized that my mind is very chaotic a lot of the time (like i haven't admitted that live on FB before). thought about ways to better organize my thinking, realized that it had to be very simple. complex priorities and complicated organizational algorithms wouldn't work. then i thought about the way i cleave to the UNIX philosophy for living my live: could i use the word UNIX?

fiddled around with it in my head for a little while, played with a couple of dictionary pages, and came up with something:

  • U = Understand your mood
  • N = Name it (short and pithy)
  • I = find an Incremental step (move toward better)
  • X = eXecute (do something)

it seems to work okay, except i need to get in the habit of remembering to use it.

today: lazy and hermitic

this morning, when i was having trouble getting myself going (it's a saturday, after all), i used UNIX to address my mood and context:

  • i realized that i was feeling particularly unmotivated, not desiring of having too much of an agenda, just wanting to kind cruise through the day, doing whatever strikes my fancy; i nailed this one with "lazy."
  • i also realized that the huge explosion of covid cases, especially in my area, just the idea of a breakthrough infection is driving my anxiety thru the roof; i'm fully vaccinated, but it feels like the numbers of vaccinated people who are feeling symptoms is increasing, which may be a sign that virus is mutating; couple that with an article i read that questions whether we're getting all the numbers (making vaccinations look better than they are, to encourage non-vaxxers), and i don't really want to get out or get my hair cut or anything like that; i just want to pick some things up curbside, like diet coke and takeout meals, and hide from the world. and wear masks while i'm doing it.

i put this all together with U-N-I-X. my Incremental step? just give in to the lazy and hermitic streak. do things in a lazy way (i was surprised by how much i was willing to do when i allowed myself to do it in a lazy way, but not doing a bad job), skip going for a haircut (which i didn't need anyway, when i combed my hair this morning), buy some takeout food when i go to town to pick up diet cokes curbside and when i get my 7millionth overload auto-fill prescription (gotta get them to stop that....), and just let the rest of the world go by.

reworked my stuff today

<2021-08-13 Fri> today, i reworked a lot of my directories, and my emacs init file. basically, i got everything to auto-backup to my private cloud server as i change it. there are still some githubs to move over, but that will come, and those are backed up already.

my wife works the next three nights, and it looks like it's going to rain all weekend, so i will have some hobby time this weekend. looking forward to it.

might be a good day

<2021-05-04 Tue> if i do the deep work of figuring out my MAAS DHCP issues on my own, without asking for a lot of help. i think it's very instructive to get out of the situation i'm in, probably also to check everything stupid that i could have done, every small mistake. but it can be a really good day/week/whatever if i work my way out of this; i think i can set up MAAS on another server (or maybe i already have it set up on the yoga laptop?) so i don't have to reinstall this one to get rid of the issues.

wake up time

[2021-08-11 Wed 06:34] woke up on my own, feel pretty decent; am wondering how much of this bleh feeling is about age and how much is being way outta shape. i can do something about that. actually, i kinda am doing something about that. got up, got dressed, got some drinks and some fruit to eat for the morning. sat down to my computer and started using my journal as my personal journal. no work stuff, that goes in a separate, private journal.

i woke up early enough to get my head on straight, and to do a few useful things before work. thought about going out and working on the yard for a little while, but didn't quite make it, and that's okay. it's a puttering job at this point, not an urgent jungle-clearing exercise.

saturday early afternoon

<2021-07-31 Sat> Evolved my org-mode again; added some useful elements of GTD to it, mostly around realistic contexts and being able to defer things I'm not ready to look at 'till next Saturday as Someday/Maybe items. Feels a little more manageable.

can't remember much of what i did this weekend

<2021-07-26 Mon> my teammates tell me that's a good thing. i know i cleaned off the porch and got closer to digging the grill out from the boxes that have piled up there over the last few months. i also need to clean the grill and the grill implements, so i can start cooking. sharan wants me to see if marinating the meat we bought will make it better; i needed to ask my brother-in-law kirk if he has any advice about that, so i just tagged him on FB. i'm sure everybody else would want to hear that advice, also.

restarting my diary

<2021-07-23 Fri> I'm restarting my diary today, after ignoring it for a month. I also rigged my .emacs file to find diary.org in the website directory, so that what I type in the diary can be automatically posted.

I added treemacs and centaur-tabs to my emacs today, after having an experience with atom earlier in the week. I needed to preview some markdown, and atom seemed to have the right tools for that. Almost switched to it, but there are too many emacs-unique tools that I don't want to abandon (like ledger, for example.

Otherwise, it's a regular Friday, internal docs day. Spent a little while reorganising my folder structure and getting all my Canonical stuff in one place, where it will be securely backed up -- and where it's easy to find from treemacs. Did a few other little dev advocate odds and ends from yesterday. Now it's probably time to get to work on internal docs for real.

worried about rosemary

<2021-06-25 Fri> i'm a little worried about my friend rosemary; she was pretty depressed four days ago, and haven't heard from her since. decided to fb message her to see if she got her car fixed, and maybe offer her some money if she needs it. you never know how much a little gift can help save a life.

several good days

<2021-06-24 Thu> i have had several good days; today there was a little bit of the weird head feeling, pretty much all day, off and one, but not particularly strong. i am sleeping so much easier and better on the pillow i bought, it is incredible. it was a good choice. maybe i need to see brandon again.

unexpected holiday

<2021-06-21 Mon> today is an unexpected holiday, thanks to the president signing into law the juneteenth holiday, commemorating texas recognizing the emancipation proclamation. i'll take it.

it's rainy today, the lingering effects of the first real tropical storm of the season; my head weirdness is stabilizing as i use the pillow i bought saturday at bb&b, but still plagues me sometimes. i wish it would go away, but i don't think it goes away that fast; after all, it came on over a period of weeks or months of sleeping badly in the couch recliner; still, i'm not fond of it.

one of those rainy days before the storm

<2021-06-18 Fri> one of those rainy days that precedes the coming of tropical cyclone 3, which isn't even organised into anything like previous categories, yet, and i don't understand why they keep changing things; but the weather is nice.

seems like an average thursday

<2021-06-17 Thu> a little bit of the head weirdness, but that might be from sitting in the recliner so long yesterday, or any number of things; at any rate, it isn't nearly as bad as i'm making it out to be.

seems a better day, and a better time comes upon me

<2021-06-16 Wed> i felt better yesterday afternoon, the head issues are fading, off-and-on, so i begin to feel much better overall. i'm very happy about this. i am having good days at work, but i need to can some of the levity a little more and be a little more mature with my coworkers.

very good evening last evening; changed my st bolus formula

<2021-06-15 Tue> felt really good last night, sitting in my recliner in my bedroom, watching baseball and soccer, playing bazooka boy on my phone, and cuddling with the cat. my sugars are up lately, probably due to a couple of weeks without managing them, but i recognised that my bolus formula is set a little low, so i raised it a bit today, hopefully that will also help -- as will not eating so many carbs, but good luck with that part.

my neck still has some kinks

<2021-06-11 Fri> and so does my life, and my daily schedule; i'm doing much better at work, in terms of really getting on projects, lately; yesterday was a little rough, as i don't have a very good plan for community engagement: it's got some stuff in it, but it doesn't have any punch, and it doesn't have enough direct involvement of actual users. going to consult with adam on that in our tuesday 1:1. i'm also not getting to household responsibilities i want to get done in anything like a timely manner; i could do a little better there, without letting housework become the focus of my time. i also have to get the bees out of the house, and maybe improve my sleeping time and place a little. and i need to make an appointment with brandon for one afternoon next week, to do a little more to unkink my neck: the weirdness is tamped down a lot most of the time (not at the levels it was), but it's still there, or it's my sinuses also involved; i'd like to get that fixed. and i need to go to the bathroom soon: i had the runs for a few days, now i'm constipated; maybe that will fix itself as i get back to celexa 20mg. and it's amazing how these all sound like first-world problems! :) now it's really time to get a shower, for sure; i actually need it this morning.

a visit with brandon

<2021-06-07 Mon> i had a good visit with brandon this morning, he knew exactly what i was talking about when i described the problem, and he levelled it correctly ("feels weird on your head"), also gave me a clue that hats and such would not abate the problem if it is medication; i feel much, much better. i need to keep sleeping on the couch like it's a couch, not a recliner.

2021-05-31 Monday

back from graduation

see title.

monday of a two-workday week

<2021-05-24 Mon> this is the week of my oldest grandson's graduation; my oldest grand-daughter, eric's child, has already graduated high school and college, and gotten married. meanwhile, my anxiety seems to have settled, a lot of my head weirdness seems to have faded, and i'm slowly bringing up my celexa level by taking 20m pills sometimes once, sometimes twice a day. i am having trouble with my eyes focusing, so i need to go see an eye doctor and get some glasses or something after i get back from graduation. going to be a necessity. but things are starting to get better. except the antibiotics under my gums. those still taste funny, but what the heck, they're working. maybe they're clearing up my head weirdness, who knows?

woke up just before sharan left

<2021-05-21 Fri 07:00> got up, got a diet, tried to figure out why the fridge wasn't running

found fridge problem

<2021-05-21 Fri 07:15> some animal drug the trash bag i put on the porch last night, drug it down to under the edge of the trailer, on the electrical cord there, and pulled the plug out while trying to root through the bag. i can't replug it without putting my arm across the bees swarmed up down there. i gotta call a bee person.

still having head weirdness

<2021-05-21 Fri 07:25> still have the head weirdness with the anxiety drugs, i'm quite sure; don't want to just stop taking them, but i need to feel more normal, not going down a rabbit hole, here, or pretending to be something i'm not to make this feeling go away (maybe that's work i need to do); found myself sifting through records from the insurance company, looking for another doctor, but that's a hassle, so i sent a message to my current doctor telling him (them) what i'm doing, and that i need help. i think that they think i'm a problematic patient, i hope not.

connected with doctor, finally

<2021-05-21 Fri 09:00> got a response from the doctor, that his nurse will get with him and call me later today. let's see what we get from that.

a different kind of day

<2021-05-20 Thu> it's definitely a different kind of day; sharan is going shopping -- maybe to buy something for the trip? maybe just to go shopping, though it's unlike her to get up so comparatively early. oh, well, whatever, it works. decided to use my west-point personality yesterday, and it helped me fend off a lot of anxiety stuff, although i ended up taking my celexa mornings, both time, because i forgot both nights; i need to set an alarm.

why i should not feel shame today

<2021-05-19 Wed> i should not feel shame today because nobody is trying to shame me. i should not feel shame today because i have nothing to be ashamed of.

hello, foggy monday

<2021-05-17 Mon> so i did as the NP suggested and switched my celexa to nighttime. that helps some with the head weirdness. but the most interesting part is that on friday, i has already taken one at 8am, took a second 20mg dose at 10pm to switch to nights, and all day saturday until 6 or 7 pm felt the best i have in months, no head weirdness at all. it has come back some during the day, since then. do i need a higher dose of celexa?

peaceful morning so far

<2021-05-11 Tue> this morning, i have discovered an unhurried peace that i would like to carry throughout the day, if i can; one never knows what a day will bring, and some things that it can bring can be impossible to deal with gracefully, but i am committed to bringing as much grace as i can to today's work and life.

monday: rainy, average, normal

<2021-05-10 Mon> it's a monday, early in may; it rained last night, and the cat was very cuddly, which was no surprise, since there was lots of thunder and a bit of lightning; at one point, she even cuddled on my chest, but didn't want me to hold her. she was clingy even before the storm last night, after we came in from doug's and i laid back in my chair because i just didn't feel 100% (probably due to the long walk and unmasked dust and grass pollen when pushing the lawn mower yesterday). she came and got between my legs and snuggled down to sleep, and i wanted her to feel comfortable staying there, so i didn't get up -- i just coded something on my phone, something i've had in mind since friday; i think i'm going to keep working on it, it seems promising and useful, maybe help me work a lot faster and do more writing and less mechanics. otherwise, it's an average day for me, especially at the start of a rain cycle; i will say that drinking water instead of soda seems to help a lot. who knew? not me, anyway.

wednesday, better aim

<2021-05-05 Wed> today started out about average, after a night of thunderstorms (no chance to do any yardwork this morning, will have to look to Friday, when things dry out a bit); taking a more aggressive stance toward my work today, with some early focus on deep work, which is very good.

yet another decent day, and bigger accomplishments

<2021-05-03 Mon> it was a good day; i didn't get up for yardwork, but it seemed to be predicting rain, and i didn't sleep as well as i expected, so that part was fine; i will get with it as time goes on. felt a little head weirdness today, but not sufficient for me to tell if it was real, or anxiety, or sleeping wrong, or what. also had a slight sore throat off and on, based on sinus drainage. hmm. there is weather coming in mid-day tomorrow, if the reports don't change again.

yesterday was a very good day

<2021-05-02 Sun> so yesterday was a very good day, from a perspective of doing things that are rare and valuable; i sorted out my options with a mind-map, which was very useful, and led me to two options for dealing with my yard: borrowing or buying my own. i honestly tried to borrow what i needed, but it quickly became obvious that there are lots of pitfalls with that, so i thought it through and decided i need a long rake, a way to transport debris, and a lawn mower that will do for my yard. the rest i can deal with later, or maybe with tools i already have. i went to tractor supply and bought a dump-wagon and a self-propelled walk-behind lawn mower with mulching and bagging capability. i still need to put the lawn mower together, but by the time i got all this sorted out yesterday, i was tired (probably due to being sick a week or so ago), and decided to nap. that nap in no way affected my sleep last night, so clearly it was needed. that's okay, and that's good. when sharan and i go out shopping later, i need to stop back by there and pick up some oil for the lawn mower, a new fuel bladder, and a long rake to pull the debris from dangerous or difficult space so i can carry it off.

while i was at it yesterday, it occurred to me that i need to do this sort of mind-mapping and outline creation with everything in my life, so i plan to do some of that today, while sharan is sleeping and not in the mood to go out. meanwhile, my carpenter ant bite is giving me a lot of swelling, but it isn't sore or interfering with my normal health in any discernible way right now, so i'm going to leave it alone and see if it will get better (as the swelling from the bee sting did).

best day in a long time

<2021-04-29 Thu> well, this is my best day in a really long time; i feel much better, i'm not having swimmy-headedness or feelings of abnormality, and i seem to be able to do okay. i'm happy that i've gotten back to this place.